Bible Study Helps and Lessons
Church News Alert!
Latest news reports are that five terrorist cell groups have been operating in Adventist churches.* Church security identifies these as Bin Sleepin, Bin Arguin, Bin Fightin, Bin Complainin, and Bin Missin. Their leader, Osama Bin Lucifer, trained these groups to destroy the Body of Christ. The plan is to come into the church disguised as Christians and to work within the church to discourage, disrupt, and destroy the pastors and the churches.
Earlier reports of a sixth group proved false. A tiny cell known by the name Bin Workin is actually the only effective counter terrorism force in the church. This group appears to be very weak. It is easy to detect because it is the only group that is active in service to Christ. Unlike the true terrorist cells, the Bin Workin team does not blend in with whoever and whatever comes along. Bin Workin visibly does whatever is needed to uplift and encourage the Body of Christ. We have noticed that the Bin Workin cell group has different characteristics than the others. They have Bin Watchin, Bin Waitin, Bin Prayin, and Bin Longin for their Master, Jesus Christ, to return.
Which cell group do you belong to?
2 Thessalonians 3:11 For we hear that there are some, which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies.
Mark 13:32-3 But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father, Take ye heed, watch and pray: For ye know not when that time is.
*These same groups have been detected in other denominations since Smart first filed his report. The Office of Home Church Security is coordinating its efforts with the Bin Workin group to interdict the activities of the five terrorist cells now known to be active throughout many American churches.
Report all sightings to proper authorities.
By Rev. Dennis Smart, alias Bin Readin--(see post at the Sharper Iron Forum)
Edited by Carlton Earp, alias Bin Thinkin
Submitted by Phil Bancroft
Adapted by: Alden Olmsted, alias Bin Lookin